The Fight That Brought Peace

August 27, 2011ishabelle

People who are married, are in a relationship or have been in previous romantic experiences know that fighting is inevitable. As much as we want to avoid getting into a fight with our partners, Fate seems to laugh at the effort and throws random fights along your way. It always starts with a petty disagreement that even sic-year old kids wouldn’t be caught fighting about. Then it morphs into a full blown declaration of war where two people emotionally or physically hurt each other. Sometimes even both. The culmination to these fights usually features someone walking out, some couples breaking up, and some wounds digging deep.

You can call me out of this world, but I think fighting is one of the ways you can prove to yourself how much you actually care about someone. If you cared enough to fight, to exert so much energy, and to lose your control, then perhaps, you cared about that person that much. Fighting isn’t about who wins. It’s about the person who cares more. Women fight with the men in their lives not because they want to be heard or that they want to be understood or that they want their man to give them what they want. Most of the time, a woman just wants to know if the man loves her enough to lose the argument just so he can win her back. I am not a man, so I wouldn’t really know what a man’s reason is for fighting with his woman.

A fight can cause unnecessary pain. What two people can achieve without hurting each other is definitely way better than what they can achieve when they are fighting. However, it does not always have to be bad. After a heated argument when someone usually walks out or (if you are lucky to have a partner who never walks out) sulks, both parties usually have time to look into themselves and analyze what went wrong. If you really love the person, you’ll see that a huge part of the fight was your own doing. You’d realize that, when the storm has cleared, you still care for that person as much as you can. Plus, after a great fight, there always is great sex. That’s probably the best thing I love about fights.

I recently just came out of a terrible fight. I would never say that I was wrong. I had a point. I had to stress that out. He had to understand that. But that did not matter anymore. The fight has ended. What’s important is that nothing changed between us even with all the fights we have had.

My relationship, our relationship, is a work in progress. Well, honestly, I think it will always be a work in progress. We will never be like any happy couple who think that they found heaven in each other. We are not like that. Every now and then we have these really huge fights, and sometimes, one of us lets go. However, the reason why we are still together is that whenever one person weakens, the other is always strong enough for both of us. We keep working at that. We keep working on our relationship. We both know that we will never have heaven with each other, but with each each, we have our lives.

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